so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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