He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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