yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
