She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
