I just saw a hot homeless man
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize