okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
