i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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