I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
