you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
