DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Found the puke drawer
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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