you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
