Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
