my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
