I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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