Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize