Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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