I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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