why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
