so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
