i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
