if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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