i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize