is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
