I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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