Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
