hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
