I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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