I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
