Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
