No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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