Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
