I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
