in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize