You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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