why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize