...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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