shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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