everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
