I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
