Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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