WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
