I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize