i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
