I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
