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I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
