I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
