Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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