She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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