I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
