in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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