he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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