I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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