You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
My Higher Power is John Stamos
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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