you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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