Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
They took my balls.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
