Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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