It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
