Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
