I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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