I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize