hotel room ftw
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He did a backflip because drugs
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
