yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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