Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
