Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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