Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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