It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
