dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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