Whats the glycemic index on semen?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
